.: A Tribute To Kelly :.

Last evening I received the news that Kelly has peacefully passed away.

I stayed up all night reading through her posts needing to feel a connection to her words and spirit.  When I came to her last post I was not ready for them to end.  None of us were ready to say good bye to Kelly.  The first time I spoke with Kandyce, Kelly's best friend she told me of the very first time she saw Kelly.  It was in middle school and Kelly had such a glow surrounding her.  This bright light within her is the same light that drew me to her.  Right up until these last days of life Kelly was able to gently smile and let her family know that  she was at peace with this new turn her journey had taken. 

While reading Kelly's posts I came across her writing about laboring at home in a tub while pregnant with her son.  It made me smile to see a photo of her as a new mother holding her new baby bundle.  My gaze turned back to these past few days, I thought of how she was at home in bed surrounded by her family and best friend but this time for much different reasons. 

None of us expected things to turn so quickly for Kelly.  And all of us held faith, hope, and a positive spirit that she would be free from cancer and so did Kelly.  In this devastating turn of her journey I am thankful she was able to be at home surrounded by love.

Death is never easy.  It is never something we can fully understand or wrap our minds around.  We all grieve in different ways and I have found their are many stages to grief.  Through these past few nights my husband and I have had deep conversations about life and about death.  Kelly has shared many life lessons with me that I will always carry with me in my everyday with my family.  Last night Kelly's body faded away but her bright spirit never will fade.  It will always be. Her spirit also lives on through her her son Ari. 

We can remember Kelly and remember the love and compassion that she shared so freely with others.  We can remember her love for her husband and son and pray for them to continue to feel her deep love for them daily. 

Kelly shared the message of peace through her glowing attitude about life.  She also shared this same spirit with her mother on one of her last days here on earth.  I thank her mom for sharing this intimate message with all of us "I am happy" were the words that Kelly spoke to her mother Susan. This is what I want to hold onto today when I think about Kelly.  I believe this is how she wants to be remembered.

A friend of mine had shared a song  "Oh, my mama" on mothers day.  She shared it with sweet photos of her own mother and herself as a baby.  Since hearing this song I have found myself singing this melody throughout my days.  When I think of Kelly today this song comes to mind.  I wanted to share it with all of you again today in honor of Kelly who mothered her son with love and all that she had to give even on days when she did not have the health within her to give. (You can hear this song here)

As inspiration for peace I want to share with you that the love all of you poured forth into creating for Kelly will be felt once again.  Kelly's husband Matt asked that our ornaments that were made with love for Kelly be displayed at her memorial service.  

I am inspired to share with you that any act of kindness we share with others even small can be felt in ways that are much bigger than all of us.

My heart is broken  for Kelly's dear husband Matt.  May our prayers and strength be directed to him as his journey in life has also changed.  May we as mothers and women hold Kelly in our hearts and may we honor her strength in our everyday as we mother our own children and act in a mothering spirit to everyone we come across. 

The next mission for Kelly's Wellness Tree is for her husband and son.  I know how much Kelly enjoyed creating things for her family and how important this was to her.  I want to honor this through many of us mothers sharing this love with her son and husband. Many of you have asked if you could do something more and if you feel lead to create something  for Matt and Ari it will be up to your heart to decide what that may be.  You can email me.

This blog was set up in Kelly's name for her and for her family. Kelly once told me she had hoped to print this blog into a book for her son to have this love, support and understanding of a piece of his mothers life. If you feel lead, your comments here may be directed to her family. Thank You for your continued love and support.

Comments

[Ellen]

It is with much sadness that I add myself to the many that have quietly admired Kelly, who have prayed that she would be healed, who have thought positive thoughts in hope of a brighter tomorrow. I quietly would like to add my name to the list of many who hold you in my thoughts and prayers. It is my gift to be blessed by the friendship of Kelly's mother, Susan. I can only begin to imagine the woman that Kelly was as I treasure the friendship of her mother more than you could know. I wish with all my heart that life would have turned out differently for you, Matt and Ari. I wish there would be something that I could do or say that could take your pain and loss away. All I know to do is to add my name here to let you know that I care, that I am so very sorry, and that with time my hope is that once again you will be lifted above the pain that this great loss brings. I am so very sorry.

[Joy]

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear this. I truly believed when this journey started that Kelly would be healed and spend many more years enjoying her husband and son. I'm so sorry, Matt, for the loss of your beautiful wife and, Ari, for the loss of your wonderful, loving mama. I would be honored to create something for Matt and Ari in Kelly's memory and will be praying for both of them continually.

[Katherine]

Your words are true and deep Nicole. The days to come will be fraught with the chaos of uncertainty and new life, even as they struggle to hold onto yesterday. You try to hold onto all you know, only to be faced with a clock that refuses to stop. yesterday will always be in the past, but eventually reminders of happy days peek through. It is a long process and I wish much strength (despite always hating when people called me strong- you survive because you have to. It is not a choice) to you all. Love is necessary and I wish you all much of it. Find strength and support in those around you.
Warm hugs
Katherine

[Nicola@Which Name?]

Oh no. I find myself speechless, full of sorrow, and streaming tears. My greatest hope is that Ari always remember some part of her.
Nicola

[KathyN]

I am a friend of Kelly's mom, Susan. My heart goes out to Matt, Ari, Susan and family in the loss of Kelly. I am so very sorry Susan. Know that I am here for you and send warm, loving thoughts your way. Love, Kathy

[Amber]

(((Matt, Ari))) I'm so sorry. There are no words. Just tears and loving thoughts.

[Nina (Nö's Familie)]

I am very sorry to hear Kelly has passed away!

It makes me very sad to hear (read) about Kelly and the difficult time for her Family and friends. I am lackig of words for the pain I feel inside when I think about her husband Matt and her little son Ari. Kelly has been so strong and she believed in her ability to live - even with constant therapy but still...

But to belive in her being there with her soul which will hopefully be able to give Ari (and Matt) some little push in the "right" direction when they have questions they can't answer (may it be a birds twitter, a breeze of wind, the sunshine in the trees or anything else in the desired moment), to belive in her always being there because she IS always there (as I wrote in the comment), she is a part of the future through her son, because without her Ari would not be, she is in him physically and that is a hope that keeps me from crying whenever I think of Kelly...

Love from us,

Nina

[Suzanne]

It is difficult at a time like this to think you feel part of this family but you are so far away and have never met. The wellness tree and visiting Susan's blog has given me a connection to kindred spirits who have become a part of our daily lives. We have shared prayers and positive thoughts. It has brought opportunity for discussion where our children ask how Kelly is. We all send love and light from our family to Kelly's.

with love
Suzanne

[Lucy]

I am truly sorry for the loss Kelly's family have experienced. She really did seem to be one of those special people, and I pray for comfort for those left without her light in their lives, especially Matt, Ari and her parents.

[daan]

So sad ...
I give the wind some strength and love and blow it in your direction.

Love, Daan

[ginny]

So very sad to read of Kelly's passing. What a beautiful tribute you have written here Nicole. Kelly has shown such inspiration to us all and my thoughts and prayers are with Matt and Ari and Kelly's friends and family at this sad time. May Kelly's joy and light in life continue to shine and give you all strength in the days to come.
ginny x

[Francesca]

So sad ... my thoughts are with Kelly's family.
Thank you Nicole.

[BOATBABY]

I wasn't able to finish reading this past the first paragraph, but I wanted to send my sympathies and love and light to Kelly's family. And thank you Nicole, for being the bridge.

[Sarah]

We continue to send love and prayers to Kelly's family as we honor her beautiful spirit and generosity.

[grace]

I read your sad words last night, Nicole. And I've been to this page at least four times to write something but found nothing to write. So I quote Washington Irving:

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”

Wishing Kelly's family peace...eventually.

[cat]

my heart is so heavy this morning, and has been since i got your email last night. kelly's spirit touched us all and her inspiration will never be denied.

i send my love and open arms to her men, her mother and her immediate circle of friends. i hope they can find their ways by following kelly's light, through this next journey in their lives.

i have in mind a couple things to make and hope that we can all continue to share and learn from this extraordinary mama...

thank you so much nicole...you too have been a blessing in all our lives...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

[kendra]

continued best wishes for your family. i am so sorry for your loss, and so glad you were able to be together.

[Patricia]

Kelly was a wonderful woman, mom, daughter and friend!
I'm sorry for this great loss.
I wish you all much strenght!

Patricia xoxo

[Melissa]

My family's prayers are with Kelly's family for comfort through their grieving at this time. Blessings for Nicole and all of you who have contributed to this blog and the gifts that were sent. You are all a part of something wonderful, full of hope and love. May this continue for ever!

[deena]

Our family is so sorry for your family's loss and our prayers for comfort and understanding are with you.

[The Orchard]

I am deeply saddened to hear of Kelly's death. I keep thinking of her little love Ari and her husband and how different their lives will be now.

My thoughts and prayers are with them.

With sympathy,
Tricia

[AG Ambroult]

Tears and a faint smile on my face, as I grieve for Matt and Ari, but hold joy in my heart for the mark she left on this world.

[. tiny twist creative .]

Oh my heart breaks for you. Kelly has been on my mind and in my prayers since I read about her. She is a beautiful lady. Matt & Ari, I am praying for you as you all are going through this tremendously difficult journey.

[Erin]

Nicole
This is Kelly's sister Erin writing
Thank you for the beautiful tribute
and for letting more of the world know what
an amazing person my sister was and for everyone's
deeply felt condolences.
We called each other
"sissy" and she was the best sissy ever...so accepting
of other people for their differences, so giving even
she didn't have a lot monetarily, so creative
making beautiful collages and crafts out of nothing
so smart...often acknowledged by her students at
college as being one of their favorite instructors, a nurturing
loving mother, wife and friend. I still can't believe she
is no longer here but then I try to find comfort in
knowing that she is "here" as long as she still influences
others to be like her. My mom said Kelly had lots of friends and she made
sure her family knew them well so that we will at least all have other
now that she is gone. And we will be there for Matt and Ari too.
Thank you again Nicole and everyone here

Best
Erin

[heather]

feeling light heavy love for kelly. and for ari and matt, erin, and kelly's mama. for all of us. loving.